Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Mom is getting her own place.
As I sit here in the media room, with the electric heat going in the house, as Russ let the oil run dry, luckily for me it is a warm November. He'll call for heat today. I ' ve been struggling with a bleeding heart lately as Mom has decided to move out. It really is the best thing for her rather than to stay with me as I am gone most of the time working at Lazboy Furniture Galleries. I think of King David who cried out and wrote songs in times of agony. Maybe I can't write or sing a song, but perhaps the words I write may be my song and gift to God. I certainly have a sphere of emotions running through me. deep sadness, joy, contentment as I know this is the best for Mom, anger as I wish she didn't want to move and am I so terrible and is my home that bad that you don't want to live with me? Don't blame her...to make matters worse the heat ran out! I will see if she can spend he night at my sisters but to be honest, we had a furnance problem in the past and we have so many heaters going, momma already told me to turn it down. -- Part of me is glad because it is hard to have someone live with you and it is hard to live with other people. Especially teenagers and old people and I do have a Senior in High School. Loud music the whole gig. I know she doesn't like it when I work lots of hours and that is actually a reward if you are in sales but Momma sees it as time away from her. Financially, well Momma helped set me straight and helped me to learn where to get things cheaper and how to manage my money better. Momma also is a strong woman and she doesn't put up with nothing yet knows when to not bother she has helped me to stand up for myself. Momma and I have a ball together we run and exchange clothing, and go out to eat and have fun. I know it is best for Momma too, because my house is extremely small 900 square feet and it is tough cramming all of us together. Momma also started me off with her old computer and since then I got a new one and actually the best one in the house as we have 3 computers. So I am struggling with all the emotions of having Momma leave. She's only moving about 10 minutes away, it was just that I was so homesick for her, I started to "cling" to her-- and now the Lord must feel I am strong enough to fly. Also Momma too. I don't think Momma would have gotten her place any other way and this is actually going to work beautiful for her. I am glad she is a woman of wisdom and saw this coming and did what she had to do. She almost didn't do it and my brother talked her into it. He's right. Momma has way too much energy to sit around waiting to die at my house. She is moving into a brand new apartment and it is a secure building. There are parties, and other seniors who are well so why should she just coup herself up with me. I also feel, and I mean this in a happy way jealous I mean she is going to move into a great place. All new it's gorgeous and my brother can through a stone at her building so it would be crazy not to take it. She showed me the apartment and it is beautiful. I helped her pick it out and it was the last apartment with a great view. She is going to love it and I want this to be a very happy experience for her. So I need to like I told her focus on the good for her. I look at it this way I had a nice long visit with my mom about 7 months and now it is time for her to start living and me to move forward and start living as well. She is going to love it, and It will make our friendship stronger.